Today is December 30th, 2012. The day after my 29th birthday, and the "eve" of New Years Eve. I entered 2012 unemployed, discouraged, deep in stress and distress, slightly depressed, and just outright DOWN on myself. Job interviews always seem to come SO CLOSE towards turning into job offers, and bills accumulated beyond my human scope. All of the praying and determination paid off however when I became a contractor with a company in Charlotte, and am still employed with them to this day. With employment, life, and health (albeit probably not the best), I have all the reason in the world to be thankful and grateful. It's the monicker that I live by, and is the same song and dance I've proudly pumped into people around me this year. It's become my theme this year and one I'll continue to promote.
However, in being grateful for life, I've subsequently allowed a LOT of crap to take place in my life. Particularly, when it comes to people. Granted, I have fallen way back in keeping up my communication with old friends and relatives (which I don't apologize for, since I have personal reasons for that which nobody will ever truly understand). Still, the one thing people know me to never tolerate is blatant disrespect. That includes saying/doing anything I deem as an insult OR overlooking/ignoring me at any given time. I feel it's only fair (and is just common courtesy, ESPECIALLY if you supposedly care/cared about me and my well-being anyway) that you take the time out to reach out to me on my birthday (call/text/voicemail/message/email/letter/etc.). Even if I DON'T communicate with them regularly, I've reached out those same people who I deemed close to me on their birthdays since I don't take birthdays lightly. And I expect to have the same respect shown to me when my birthday comes around each year.
I understand people lead busy, time-consuming lives (I'm one of the main living examples). But how in the HELL is it fair if I've known you for years and you not bother to once reach out to me on the day I was born while year after year I reach out to YOU to wish you well on your day of celebration???? How in the HELL is it fair that I don't receive ANY type of communication from you on my birthday yet we were once in a relationship and/or very close, and I made sure YOUR birthday was a special and memorable as possible???
This PISSES me the hell off and I'm sick and tired of acting like it doesn't (I'm going to elaborate further in a future blog about NO LONGER bottling my feelings/opinions anymore). It's NOT right and I SHOULDN'T (and won't) tolerate it at all.
I find it grossly sad and disgusting that in this age of technology, social media, and alternate forms of communication, some people can become so self-absorbed, egotistical, and vile that they develop selective memory of all the times others have been there for them and, yet, can't even bother communicating with them to wish them well on their day of celebration. It's disappointing, but most of all, it's enraging.
It's a coincidence that I'm expressing my anger in a blog so close to the end of 2012 indeed. However, this isn't yet another platform to proclaim that I'm "doing a new me" and somehow cutting ties with these people for 2013. No resolutions or proclamations will be made here. And I won't even close this blog out with any contrived inspirational words/thoughts/poem/song. However, I WILL say that I'm going to definitely NOT be as complacent, silent, dormant, or "peace-ready" going forward as I was in 2012. I made a promise to myself back around March that I would be as appreciative towards all things since God did come through for me and in a big way. But I can (and will) no longer be tight-lipped about my feelings and opinions when it comes to my life. So consider this piece as my personal "closure entry". Many of these same people will no longer maintain communication (in ANY form) in the future as ties will be cut permanently, some that I've already dismissed. At age 29, my life really is just beginning and I haven't even yet scratched the surface in my corporate IT career. Prayers, struggles, life experiences, and of course, God's grace has allowed me to come this far and it will be wisdom and my determination that will determine my direction going forward. If it's God's will, I'm NOT holding back nor will allow anything/anybody to hold ME back. Not a believer? Stay tuned and watch the next several months unfold.
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